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~MOM~

If you would have asked me about my relationship with my mother about 12 years ago I wouldn’t have had much good to say. I was 18 and mixed up with a boy. I was leaving behind acceptance letters from all four of the Universities I had applied to: UC Santa Barbara, Chico State University, UCSD, and Cal State, Bakersfield to move 3000 miles away. I was smoking (cigarettes, I know–>foul habit) and ditching class–>I was, essentially, on a path of self-destruction . At the time it didn’t feel that way though. I felt as though I was liberating myself from my mother’s high expectations. I felt as though there was no room for me to be “less than the best” in my home.  In my early twenties I wrestled with the relationship between my mother and I. I don’t want you to preceive that my mom was some horrible mommy dearest, because she wasn’t. She did have high expectations and she wasn’t very forthcoming with love. She didn’t fawn all over me or dote on me when I was sick and she was hard to please. You are probably wondering where I am going with this…some Mother’s Day shout-out huh? LOL So, here is the point of all this: I spent so many years focusing on what she could have done better, in my eyes, instead of focusing on all that she did RIGHT. I know of the roads my mother has traveled in her life; dark roads filled with hurt and violation and abandonment. She chose better for me. MY MOM CHOSE BETTER FOR ME. She didn’t wallow and get hooked on drugs or become and alcoholic, even though she could have easily gone down that path. Here is what my mom did right:

She became educated: she worked hard and sacrificed much to become an RN so that we could move into a better neighborhood.

She always made sure I had clean clothes to wear and that they fit.

She fed me.

She encourgaed me to strive for more.

She believed in me.

She encouraged every hobby or extracurricular activity I wanted to participate in.

She went to work on days she didn’t want to, for me.

She shared her love of music with me.

She taught me about respecting myself and my body.

She talked to me anytime, day or night, when I needed to talk.

She respected me, her child…she respected me as a human being.

She never put her hands on me in anger. The only time my mother  every physically touched me it was to give me a hug..and I believe that is the way it ought to be. I don’t spank my children either.

I could come to my mother with anything and she would not sit in judgment. She would listen and then offer advice.

She took me on long car rides so we could just talk.

She taught me to me humble.

She taught me to be compassionate and have empathy for others.

She taught me to take pride in what I do and who I am.

She taught me to be a hard worker.

She taught me to look outside the four walls of my house, to the rest of the world.

She taught me to have a sense of humor.

She taught me to stick up for myself.

The list could go on and on. You see, the thing I have come to realize is that the list of all my mom has done right throughout the years far outweighs anything else. I might have had a little more pressure and less I love yous growing up, but I have had something more important than that. I have had real, solid proof that my mother loves me. When she chose to abstain from drugs and alcohol, when she chose to not beat me as she had been beaten, when she chose to go to school so I could grow up with more opportunities, when she chose my dad, when she chose to protect me from a life of violence, when she chose to be more than what she was told she would become as a child–>she chose BETTER, not only for herself but–>for ME! If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. 

   One of my favorite pictures of my mom, she looks so happy here.

Love you mom and I thank you for raising the bar and breaking the cycle of violence. There is no greater gift you coud have given me than the feeling that I was safe in my home. I never had to be afraid. I wish I could give you the childhood you gave me…love you.

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Does Anyone Know??

Will an apple a day REALLY give you an “A?” If so…..I am off to buy A TON of apples 🙂

~C

One Year Ago Today…

I can’t WAIT to go back 🙂

~Chris

And now it has come to this…

I have several projects in the works but none are completed so here I am with no tutorial to feature. Whatever is a girl to do? I guess I will have to share a bit about my personal life 🙂 When I decided to start this blog I went back and forth as to what type of blog I wanted. There are so many things I love to do and am passionate about and I just wasn’t sure that I could throw it all into one blog. Do I need to focus on only one thing or can this just be a modge podge of my life? One big mash-up? I say—>bring on the crazy! I am still unsure but I think I will figure it out as I go along and that the blog will sort of go the way it’s meant to go, take on a life of its own if you will. Is that silly of me to just sort of say whatever happens, happens? Hmmm…oh well, so be it 🙂 I try not to take myself too seriously and you shouldn’t either–>LOL I definitely want to figure out how to put some music on this thing! Music is a MUST, the soundtrack to my life! I haven’t figure out how to do it yet or if I even can with WordPress? If I can’t–>THAT’S a deal-breaker and I may have to part ways with WordPress. No joke. I suppose I should have looked into that a bit more before actually purchasing this site huh?? ::sigh:: Well, enough about my lack of researching skills 😉

I TAKE these:

and MAKE these:

for a living and am also a student. So, the photography is something I have always been passionate about. In high school I was always the one with my camera…lol–>annoying everyone! That’s okay though–> now I have all those memories preserved in the form of photos because God knows my brain wouldn’t have retained ANY of it! So, I officially started working as a photographer and aquired an okay camera (purchased a great lens for it though) 10 months ago so I am a MAJOR newbie, learning more everday though. I started making bows/flowers/girly things out of necessity. My oldest wanted them and I couldn’t afford to buy them so guess what??? Necessity is the mother of invention! Not that I invented it but you know where I’m going with that! People would constantly ask me if I had made the bows myself and if I hadn’t where DID I get them b/c they wanted to purchase them..and the rest is history. I do have an Etsy shop that I opened back in September but I have been really neglecting it so as soon as I can get that all situated I will put a link here to items you may purchase! YAY! I am going to school to be a Primary Grade Teacher. I’m thinking I’d like to teach second or third grade. I figure they aren’t newbies so I don’t have to deal with tears and they haven’t hit puberty…so I don’t have to deal with tears (from the girls anyway) Sounds like a pretty good plan huh? Maybe by then I will be an accomplished photographer getting ginormous wedding jobs and it will all work out perfect. School during the week, wedding bells on the weekends/Summers! Sounds like a PLAN, but I’m about 3-4 years off from that 🙂 So, pretty much this is my life for the moment. I suppose I should get some sleep so that I can be bright-eyed and bushy tailed for these beauties in the morning…

 I love them so 🙂

~Chris

Love Bunting

Well, well, well. I JUST had this post ALL typed out and guess what? I accidentally deleted it! But I’m not irritated–>oh nooooooooo, not irritated one tiny little eensy BIT! 1, 2, 3, 4,5, 6…….10. Grrrrrr —>Alright, all better now 🙂 So, I don’t really need to explain this tutorial because it is identical to my previous tutorial on The Coversation Hearts Banner. The only difference is that I used different paper/sayings and burlap instead of crepe paper!

This was not intended to be a bunting it was actually supposed to be a sort of framed art but the frame wasn’t large enough so I really am not very happy with how it ended up or where it ended up.

It doesn’t really vibe with the decor so I either need to find a frame that will work and display it the way it was meant to be displayed, find a new home for it, or re-vamp my entry-way to match this bunting. But do I really want to do all that for Valentine’s Day? I mean I do it for Christmas, but that’s a different story entirely. I am fanatical about Christmas decor 🙂 There are some things I absolutely love about this though…

I love the glittery red paper I used for the letters and I LOVE the burlap surrounding it, makes it seem old and rustic to me 🙂 So, do you think I am being too critical or do you agree that it needs a new home in our home?? Hope you are having a fabulous night with the ones you Love!

~Chris

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